Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
