Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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