Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
