Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
