I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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