Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
