The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize