Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
it hurts more in the daytime
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
