Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
