4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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