I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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