I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i think my mom watched the whole time
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
