So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
