I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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