Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
