Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
