I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
