If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Shame - the story of my life.
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