absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
