no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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