After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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