btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
