he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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