just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
