Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Randomize
