woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
