I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
