I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
