My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
