Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
