The maid of honor just puked.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
