Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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