i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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