How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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