I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
