If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm passing your future prison.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
