Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
