Cold hands, warm shart.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
