HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
