I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
