so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
