I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
