dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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