I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
