Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
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