i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
