Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
