sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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