standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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