her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
only you would photoshop your dick
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
