people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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