the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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