I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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